Scattered Persons

I'm on the second P now in Holly Pierlot's book and she hit on something very interesting that I had to share. She talks about how sin scatters our persons. This "scattering" affects the order we have internally. She has this to say about that:

We feel it every time our emotions cringe in fear and disgust in reaction to something we know is a good, such as cleaning the attic! We experience it every time we want to eat too many sweets, or sleep too late, or when we want to engage in sinful activities. Instead of subordinating our drives and desires to choose objective good, our wills, damaged and weakened, follow along behind the passions. We ten to choose something that will make us "feel" good, but that might be, in reality, very harmful to us. Our reasoning power is damaged also, and so even grasping truth becomes more difficult than God intended. This leaves our wills uninformed, weakening our decision-making capacities. Our hearts, no longer in line with God's will, seek a selfish fulfillment, and our emotions become a powerful force that can now work against our better reason.

Wow! That was a mouthful huh?! But it makes so much sense! I mean how many times have you let your own selfish wants and needs take over your life? I have done it so many times I can't even count. But I can also remember when I let God come into my life and I began making more of a conscious effort to let His rules guide my decisions. It's not easy, that's for sure. But life isn't about taking the easy way out. Jesus didn't take the easy way out. He stood amidst the pain and the suffering for us. And I want to thank Him for that every day of my life by living the way He wants me to live.

The Fourth Degree of Prayer

The fourth degree of prayer is Prayer of the Soul. This one is a tough one because it's when you can feel God's presence in everyone. How hard is that?! How hard it is to see our Lord in others when they are saying mean things to us. How hard it is to see our Lord in others when they support abortion, the killing of our unborn children. How hard it is to see our Lord in others when we see them stealing or committing some other crime.

I definitely haven't gotten there yet!! I try. I keep it in my mind, but I haven't quite perfected this one. I don't think that too many of us can say that we have!! :)

First Degree of Prayer

Good Monday Morning!

Today I'm going to talk a little bit about the First Degree of Prayer: Strength. Mother says, "It comes when you begin to realize that God is your Father and you've got this vacuum in your heart."

We take all of our sins, frustrations, fears, and bring them to Him. We realize that we don't have as much control over our lives as we thought we did. It takes strength to "give in" to Him and His will. It's hard for us to feel like we don't have any control. So that takes a certain degree of strength. And when we pray, our prayers turn into what He wants, instead of what we want.

I was just explaining this to my daughter today. Have you ever said, "I had such a good idea!!" Of course we have! Well, was that your idea or God's? It's God's. Everything is God's. God works through us and plants seeds and thoughts in us. Whether we choose to follow that or not is a different story.

Let me give you an example of what I mean. This week, I was blogging with women who didn't agree with me (which was wonderful because I learned something). We were blogging about sex and feminism, and of course we disagreed with how we got to where we are in society today. I get up very early to take a shower and sit down on the computer to get my thinking, praying, reading, or blogging in. When I sat down with my computer here and turned on the television, I was going to turn on the news. But then I thought, let's see what's on EWTN today. I turned the station and guess what? It was a program about... drum roll please... sex and kids!! Coincidence? I think not. My idea? I think not. God talks to us all the time. He whispers and if we listen, we will learn His ways and He will be able to live through us.

See, we are His. He does His works through us if we let Him. I guess I decided to let Him that day. I could have turned on the news because that's what I wanted to do, but I didn't. I realize a little more each day that my life is not mine. It belongs to our Lord. That takes strength, but it also brings comfort.

Once we come to terms with our sins and feel repentance, it turns into the Second Degree of Prayer: Heart.

Luck

There is no such thing as luck. God is the author.
-Mother Angelica

Isn't that neat?! I knew when I read that, I just HAD to post it! I have been correcting myself lately when I want to say "lucky" or "luck." Because I firmly believe there is no such thing!

Instead of saying lucky now, I say that I'm "blessed." Or I tell someone they were "blessed" instead of lucky. Because that's what it is. God Blesses us with His love! It may be a tough love sometimes, but it is love nonetheless. And it is an unceasing love that we can always count on!

Words of Wisdom from Logan

I have heard this clip before, and then got an email today from my sister-in-law with the video from God Tube. It is about a 13-year-old boy who calls into his local Christian station with a story. Get ready, and get out the Kleenex, you're gonna need it:

God knows... just run to Him.

A Trusting Soul

A soul that trusts God is invincible.
- Mother Angelica

Isn't that so true? From our trust comes love and faith. When we have those things, we have belief! And that belief gives us our eternal life with Our Father.

BEAUTIFUL!

Does He PERMIT Evil?

So the next question we may ask ourselves is "Why does God permit evil?" And Mother Angelica has an answer. "His providence protects the freedom of His creatures by permitting evil. If you reject God and turn against Him with your free will, God will still draw good out of it--- for your good or for the good of another."

The free will He gives us enables us to make our own choices and to learn from them. Ever heard the expression "Learn from your mistakes?" Of course you have. How are we going to make mistakes if we don't have that free will to do so? I know that the most I have learned, and the best that I remember, is through mistakes. And that could be my own, or someone else's. So remember. You may not learn, or maybe you don't get something positive out of the evil in your life, but maybe someone else did, or will. It's not for us to know, nor for us to dwell upon. It will only make us miserable and draw us further from God with distrust. Trust in Him. There is a reason.

Some words of comfort from Mother:

God knows your every need and desire. He listens to your every sigh and sees every tear. He surrounds you completely. Even though you do not see the end of the road, you need not fear.

Note: I just read a great post from Faith and Family Live! with a little info on this very subject.

God's Love

So do you believe that God loves you? Do you believe that He loves you ALL the time? Even in those trying times in your life where you can't believe He would let that happen to you? Your parents get divorced. A loved one dies unexpectedly. Your child commits a mortal sin.

These are all things where we could say, where are you God? How could you let this happen? Well, Mother Angelica says, "God loves me so much that He provides for my every need. God's providence disposes and directs everything for His honor and glory, and for the good of my soul." It's so hard when we live in the Present Moment to see His good intentions right away. I can tell you that when my parents were going through their divorce, it didn't seem like He was there. How could He let them throw away 38 years of marriage and rip apart our family? What sense does that make?

Well, it pays to ask questions. Through their divorce, I found myself getting closer and closer to Him because I needed guidance from somewhere, and I didn't feel that I could get it from my parents at that point and time. As most married couples do, my husband and I fought quite a bit. I mean, we have 3 kids... who doesn't??!! And I can't tell you that divorce didn't cross my mind. After all, wasn't it better for them to see their parents happy than together and fighting all the time? Well, it's good for them to see us happy, but together and happy. And I guess it took my parents getting their divorce for me to see how important it is to stay together. The closer I came to God, the more I realized how much I love and adore my husband. The closer I came to God, the more I realized what I needed to do to make our life better together.

I think we all know that good can come out of the bad, but sometimes it takes a while for that insight to happen. And that's OK. It's God' Will and Providence. Mother also tells us that if it's meant to be, then the Lord will clear the path. If it's not, then He will make it difficult to get there. "Nothing happens to you without the stamp of His providence placed upon it before it happens. That's faith."

So have faith. Things may seem bad, but they wouldn't be happening if He didn't let it.

Avoiding God's Will

I spent a long time avoiding God's Will for me. I always, ALWAYS, saw myself as a working mom. I can remember telling a friend of mine (who wanted to date me) that I would NEVER stay home with the kids. I was going to college to get an education so I could be a teacher. And there wasn't anyone that was going to stop me from having my own life and my own career, not even my kids.

I fought Him tooth and nail through this transition. It took me 3 1/2 years for goodness sake!! Once I became closer to Him through love and prayer and Bible study, I realized that the turmoil in my life came from trying to be that independent person from my children. For me, working didn't work. Once I came to terms with being a homemaker, I became a happier person and my home became a home that my husband was happier coming home to, and a home my kids were happier being in. What a blessing.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the women shouldn't work. I'm just writing about a big turning point in my life. Working wasn't making me happy, and it wasn't creating a happy home for my family. That is just my personal story, and it doesn't go for everyone.

So here's what Mother Angelica says about avoiding God's Will:

What is it in your life that makes you run once you begin to feel that God is after you? I'll tell you why you run, because you're afraid He's going to take everything away from you that's dear. There's a beautiful line in a poem by Frances Thompson and it says, "What I took from thee, I took not for thy harm, but only that you would seek it in My arms." Remember that! Don't ever be afraid to follow Jesus, to be a real Christian on fire with what you believe.

Don't ever be afraid to follow Jesus, to be a real Christian on fire with what you believe. LOVE THAT!! I'm becoming less and less fearful. Since I made the choice to give in to Him, follow Jesus, and accept my vocation as a wife and mother, things seem to make more sense. I look at our bank account and realize that we are doing fine without an income from me! We aren't big spenders, so we do just fine!! We have not made bad decisions, and my husband made a very wise decision to buy the house he did, and so we are in a good place financially. So the pressure I was putting on myself to work, was not needed right now. If the time comes, then I'm sure He will show me the way. I must make sure that I listen though, be open to His Will, and not be afraid.

God's Will

How do you determine God's Will for you? Tough one huh? I know I have always struggled with that. For instance, when I was looking for a way to work from home, a way to make some extra money for us, I felt frustrated, irritated, and a little angry. I used to ask God to tell me what He wanted me to do. Was I supposed to be working this business? Was I supposed to be home? Should I look for a job? And each time I thought I got an answer, I used to wonder if it was His answer or the devil's. I had a hard time differentiating. It was because the work I was doing was good work and the money was going to help my family. So I couldn't figure out why trying to do the work I was doing would be such a bad thing.

Now I realize that I was putting money ahead of God. I wasn't truly listening to Him and was misreading the signs. When I was irritated and frustrated was when I was trying to make money. I felt like I needed that paycheck to feel important. I was wrong. It has taken a long time for me to realize that it's OK to be a mom and a wife and take care of my family. I realize now that my job IS important, even though I don't get a paycheck.

So the next time we are wondering about God's Will, Mother Angelica tells us to look at 3 things:

1. Does it violate any of the Commandments? Is it against the precepts of the Church?
2. Will it give God honor and glory?
3. Will it benefit my family and my spiritual life?

Now, making the choice to go get a job as a teacher would have followed all of these guidelines for me. The only problem is that it only would have benefited my family monetarily. I look back at when I was working and how miserable I was. Not because I was working, but because I just couldn't do it all. My husband works very long hours, so the majority of the work around here was on my shoulders and I had 2 very young children. It was a mess, and I never stopped looking to work or make money until a few months ago. Since I have come to terms with God's Will for me to stay home, take care of my husband, take care of our children, and take care of our home, my irritability is almost non-existent.

When we know what God's Will is, we will find that peace. It will feel right. This can go for anything. A friend of mine once told me that if it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't. So look for God's Will using those guidelines. Trust Him. God eventually has His way anyway....

Satisfaction

So what is holiness? Well, in my last post, Mother Angelica told us that it's not perfection. So what IS it?

WHOLLY SATISFIED

Our Lord said, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for holiness, they shall be satisfied" (Matt. 5:6). Today what is holiness? Holiness is that image of Jesus in your heart that shines on your face and tells your neighbor that there is more to come, and it's better than this life. It makes you so free that you can laugh at the world and what it has to offer. Others look at you and ask, "What do you have? I want it."

-Mother Angelica, LITTLE BOOK of LIFE LESSONS and EVERYDAY SPIRITUALITY

"Holiness is that image of Jesus in your heart that shines on your face and tells your neighbor that there is more to come, and it's better than this life." I highlighted that in my book. I love that and I read it over and over. It all comes back to the love that we have for Jesus and allowing that love we have for Him to shine through in our lives. How do we do that? By living like He lived, by letting Him do His work through us. If you think of it this way, it really makes me feel free because I really don't have as much control over my life as I thought. And if it's God that has control, then I'm OK with that!

Absolute Freedom

The thing that confuses us so much is that we are constantly thinking about ourselves. What am I going to do for the world? What am I going to do for my neighbor? You’ve got the wrong question.

The question is: What is God going to do through you? That’s the question: How much are you going to let Him do? When you begin to ask the right questions you will get the right answers. You are nothing; and until you come to that realization, you will stumble and crawl through all of life. There is absolute freedom in the thought that you are nothing. only then are you free to be used by God for His ends, the ends for which you have been created.

-Mother Angelica

Oh my goodness!! I had never thought about it that way before. I’m NOTHING!! It’s true and it IS kind of freeing to think of myself that way. Boy does it take the pressure off!

We are very self-centered people and it’s very difficult to change that and look beyond ourselves to God and figure out how He wants to use us. Now I don’t know about you, but I have been asking myself the WRONG question. After I read this little passage, I kept reading (it’s so addicting), but I kept thinking about this one particular passage. What DOES He want to do through me?

Well, I was on the phone last night with, well, I will call her a friend of mine, and we were talking a lot about our faith and not being afraid to “come out of the closet.” It’s so hard. Religion is seen so differently these days. Anyway, we discussed doing a book club. And I have been contemplating it for a long time, and throwing the idea out. So I didn’t think much more about it, just that maybe I will do it some day…. THEN I opened up my email this morning and saw Melanie’s comment about being interested in a Book Club and I thought, “OK, is this what he wants to work through me? A Book Club?” Maybe, I don’t know. But it can’t hurt to do it and see what comes out of it, right? He speaks to us, but we just have to listen very carefully!!

Lord, keep my ears and heart open to Your Word, so that you can work your goodness through me.