Absolute Slavery

St. Hilarion

Freed from sin, you have become slaves of righteousness. Romans 6:18

Well, I'm trying this again. I haven't blogged for a couple of months now, and in those months I feel farther from God than I did while I was blogging. I think that having this blog and a daily reading to post, helped me to stay on track. I was reading God's Word every day and reflecting on it. Now I'm lucky to crack my Bible a couple of times a week. I don't like that. I enjoy reading the Bible and learning all I can learn about how to be a good and faithful Christian.

I want to be a slave of righteousness. I want to be so involved with our Lord that that's all I can think about. I want to fully accept all He has in store for me, without reservation. But it's been a struggle. I have begun to think more about myself and what would be good for me. I have a hard time distinguishing between what I want and what He wants for me. But He always lets me know in some way shape or another.

I thought that getting back to my roots of teaching would make both of us happy, but apparently not. Every time I try to get a job that I think would be good for me and my family, something doesn't work out with it. So that has made me a little miserable because I was trying to accept that as part of my life and incorporate a part-time job into my current life. It's so hard right now. I have 3 children, 2 in school, and a lot of volunteer hours to complete. I have a 2-year-old to keep busy, and a family to keep in God's loving arms. If I had a job, where would I have time to pray for all of us? Where would I have time to spend with my kids without worrying about everything I have to do around the house? Having a job is so stressful. And maybe it will get easier as they get older, but for now, I think my place is right where I am. And I just have to accept it.

I want to accept it, with all my heart. I want to be His slave so I can be led to righteousness.

This Scripture for the day also struck me and I realized just how important my job here in my home is, even though I'm not getting a physical paycheck:

Be sure of this: if the master of the house had known the hour when the thief was coming, he would not have let his house be broken into. You also must be prepared, for at an hour you do not expect, the Son of Man will come. Luke 12:39-40

Daily Readings
Romans 6:12-18 Psalm 124:1-8 Luke 12:39-48