Friday, April 29, 2011

Heroes

My daughter came home the other day from school and had to write a paragraph about a hero in her life. It had to include certain details, an introductory sentence, and a conclusion. She chose my brother. I completely understand why she would because he's so much fun and he's in the Air Force. But at the same time, mama jealousy kicked in! ;) Why didn't she pick me?

Did she not think I was hero material? Do I yell too much? Am I too strict? Do I not do enough with her and her siblings? What? Why??

I've been milling this around in my head for days (since the assignment) and have seriously contemplated homeschooling my children. I have thought about this for a couple of years now, but my husband is not too keen on the idea. While I would love to get a job, I don't think that would solve the problem of relieving undo stress in our lives.

So the past few days I was thinking that if I embarked on this endeavor that I might have more of a chance of becoming a hero to my children. I want to be someone they admire. I don't want them to remember me for the yelling and drill sergeant attitude I sometimes feel I have. I thought that homeschooling may bring more peace to my home. Less rushing around. More interaction with my kids. It all sounds so good. I have a few friends that do it and they always speak so highly of it.

My husband doesn't. He not only isn't comfortable with the idea, he seems to be downright against it. I'm very uncomfortable going against him when he feels so strongly. After all, my kids are in Catholic school, which is the next best thing. So we came to a deal. He would take off work more so I could be involved more at their school. I thought that was a good compromise.

I want peace. I want to exhibit behaviors that my children will want to emulate. I want my family to be happy and I want to be a hero for them. I want them to look back on their childhood and remember the good times we had together as a family. I want them to look back and say, yup, mom (or dad would be OK too) is my hero. They may not feel that way now, but I want their memories to be good ones. I want to be the kind of mom that makes them want to be like me. I don't know the answer to this, and I think it's different for every family, but I hope, and I pray, that we're doing the right things.

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